


Royal Purple (and other pranks)

by Dzgenesis



Category: Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Crack Crossover, F/M, Father son shenanigans, Gen, I don’t understand this crossover either don’t judge me, Loki wants to be besties with Vegeta, M/M, Saiyans afraid of their human wives, Stark-Briefs Corp was almost a thing, Tony doesn’t share, Tony is tired of aliens, Trunks is tired of translating for his alien dad, Vegeta has a thing for purple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 10:36:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14518635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dzgenesis/pseuds/Dzgenesis
Summary: “...So you want me to find a solution to get rid of her purple people eater look? Gotcha. Now scram, Steve is making me a sandwich and I don’t want to share” Tony shooed them towards…well wherever they came from. Vegeta remained unmoved.“No human, I need you to make it permanent. Or at least semi-permanent.” Vegeta demanded as he crossed his arms.“What?!?” Both Tony and Trunks shouted in unison.Or that time Trunks Dyed Bulma purple and Vegeta like it...a lot





	Royal Purple (and other pranks)

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s some crack fic for you lovelies. I don’t know what I’m doing, be gentle with my ridiculous story. Kudos are hugs!

Bulma screamed Vegeta’s name from inside the shower as she was suddenly immersed in a violet shower. Anger was not even the word to describe her feelings, and she knew exactly who was behind this. The saiyan prince instantly burst into the bathroom door in attack mode, his jet back hair now an electric blonde. 

“What is it? What is going on? Where is the enemy? Show yourself!” Vegeta demanded forming a Ki ball in his hand. Bulma stepped out of the shower and shoved a finger in the blue eyed prince’s face. 

“LOOK AT ME!” Bulma screeched as lavender drops fell down her skin staining the rug beneath her. Someone has put purple die in the water tank, grape flavored koolaid from the taste of it. That someone was definitely going to pay dearly for this mistake. 

“Woman, what is the meaning of this?” Vegeta looked at her perplexed as he took in her lavender colored skin and hair. He leaned into to sniff her hair and then raised an eyebrow. 

“Your SON did this to me. HOW CAN I GO OUTSIDE LIKE THIS!?” Bulma panicked as she looked at herself in the mirror. 

“How did the water turn you into…another race? You smell vaguely of grapes as well, it almost completely covers your normal human scent. Peculiar” Vegeta finally powered down and continued to study his angry mate with veiled amusement. 

“Vegeta fix this RIGHT NOW!” Bulma shoved past her alien husband and ran into their room sobbing. 

“Boy!” Vegeta roared teleporting into the living room. He immediately was faced with a guilty looking Trunks and Goten. 

“D-Dad…didn’t see you there” Trunks laughed nervously. The half saiyan quickly hid his purple stained fingers behind his back. Goten immediately hid behind his partner in crime, avoiding eye contact with the angry saiyan prince all together. Vegeta could practically smell the guilt on them. Mixed with the grape scent of course. 

“Anything you would like to confess to brats?” Vegeta crossed his arms and loomed over the two boys. 

“Uh…Nope. Hey dad we really have to get goin-“ Trunks was interrupted from a loud screeching sound that rattled the walls and windows of the house. Goku appeared from thin air in the middle of the living room looking wide eyed and disheveled. 

“Kakkarot? What are you doing here?” Vegeta demanded, slightly irritated at his abrupt arrival. 

“Goten, did you …by any chance…put red dye in your mother’s shampoo” Goku asked exasperated. Goten’s eyes grew wide and he immediately made a run for the door. He took two steps only to be caught by Vegeta. 

“And where do you think you are going?” Vegeta growled as he raised Goten up by his collar and thrusted him into Goku hands. Goku scratched the back of his head nervously. 

“Uh Vegeta, its not exactly safe at our house right now so I was wondering…” Goku trailed off with a cheeky grin. Vegeta huffed in annoyance and hastily shook his head in agreement before he could continue. 

“I realize that even though your mate is human, her rage is…all consuming. You can take refuge here until it is safe I suppose. But we aren’t feeding you and your brat!” 

“Aw geez Vegeta thanks a lot, she can be scarier than Buu, especially now that she is well, redish pinkish” Goku laughed as another roar erupted from a distance. Vegeta rubbed his forehead before shooing the two out of the living room. As his rival retreated Vegeta slowly turned to his son. 

“Boy, your mother is very upset with you. I am disappointed” Vegeta spoke loudly knowing his mate was listening. He quickly leaned in and whispered, “Was that your idea? Good work boy, I have never seen the woman so enraged” Trunks smirked mischievously as his dad praised him. He had to admit, his father was strict, but only admonished him when his mother told him too. Trunks had slowly formed a secret alliance with his father and it was times like these where it came in handy. 

“Sorry dad” Trunks mumbled with feigned remorse as his purple haired mother slowly descended down the staircase. 

“As punishment I require you to work out in the anti-gravity chamber for an hour. Then we will spar” Vegeta smirked as he cracked his knuckles. Trunks felt a shiver of real fear course through him even though he knew his father was doing this for show. He had seen his father in a real fight, and he could honestly say he never wanted to be on the wrong side of his father. 

“O-Ok, Sorry mom I was just playing a joke” Trunks shot his mom an innocent look which his mom completely ignored and headed to the kitchen in silence. Trunks couldn’t help but feel like she was over reacting, it didn’t even look that bad. He shot his dad a wink before stomping out of the door to head to the anti gravity chamber. 

“He is out of control Vegeta and you know it! He needs discipline! If you don’t handle him I swear I will HURT BOTH OF YOU!” Bulma slammed the kitchen cabinets and shot daggers at her husband. Vegeta stopped himself from flinching, increasing his ki just in case she decided to throw actual daggers. Human women could be the most dangerous. 

“I have this under control. I blame Kakkarot’s brat, it was probably his idea” Vegeta grumbled as he followed his now purple mate into the kitchen and watched her stomp around in the kitchen. He couldn’t help but be fascinated by her soft lavender skin and dark purple highlights. He was really going to look into this Koolaid substance. 

“Why are you staring at me? Do you think this is funny? I’ve already taken 5 showers and scrubbed my skin raw and I am still PURPLE!” 

“Being purple is perfectly normal on other planets I have visited. I don’t see where the harm is done” Vegeta replied, fighting the urge to touch his mates hair. He knew inherently her hair was naturally lavender however she usually wore it bright blue. He didn’t mind really, hair color was inconsequential. But for some reason this recent transformation caught his eyes. 

“Well being a purple HUMAN is completely not normal. Why are you standing so close to me? Do I have something on my face?” Bulma asked as the Saiyan prince found himself nose to nose with her. Blinking Vegeta quickly increased the distance between them and pretended to reach into the cabinet behind her. 

“I was just grabbing a cup. You are in the way as usual,” He said gruffly after clearing his throat. 

“That’s a bowl” His wife frowned reaching to touch his hand.

“Don’t question me! I don’t even need this earthling contraption!” Vegeta shoved the bowl back into the cabinet before she could touch him and retreated from the kitchen. “I am leaving with our son, we shall return soon” 

~*~*~

“Stark! I require your assistance in a pressing matter” Vegeta appeared in Tony’s very cluttered laboratory making the genius almost jump out of his skin. 

“W-What!? How did you even get in here? Jarvis?” Tony, who had been dozing off at hi computer only moments ago, stumbled to his feet at the sudden appearance of his two recent alien acquaintances. 

“I am unable to confirm his point of entry sir. His hair is causing electrostatic interference,” Jarvis said in his defense. Vegeta arched an eyebrow but said nothing about the veiled insult. 

“Sorry Mr. Stark, my dad doesn’t know how to knock” Trunk apologized as he stepped out from behind his father. Trunks sighed, just when he thought he was going to have fun his dad drags him along to be his “I’m sorry my dad is an alien” translator. He should have dyed his dad blue. 

“Well next time call first! They have cellphones for a reason” Tony waved his phone in Vegeta’s face. Vegeta promptly disintegrated it into ashes. 

“Why did you do that!? Who even does that!?” Tony stared in shock at the remains of his phone. 

“Don’t mention anything with the word “cell” in it. My father doesn’t handle it well,” Trunks whispered as Vegeta gave the ashes an offending glare. Tony scouffed. He had 5 more just like it but still. It was the principle of the matter. 

“Listen cabbagepatch, I am clearly in the middle of…something. When I said let me know if you needed something I was being polite. I’m only nice because Brief Corps owns like 30% of my stock. You can’t just barge in here and make demands. How you even landed someone like Bulma Briefs is a mystery, the only reason we couldn’t work out is because Stark-Briefs Inc sounds like a porn company” Tony quickly inhaled his coffee before wiping the sleep from his eyes. Not that he was sleeping! he was very busy doing…things. 

“Are you suggesting that I am not a good enough mate? Is that a challenge son of Stark? You think your mobile suit gundam can take on the Prince of All Saiyans?” Vegeta bristled at iron man’s insults. Trunks slapped his hands over his face in mortification. He should have never showed his father anime, it always came up at the most inappropriate times. 

“Dad! Mom said you can’t hurt any humans or else!” Trunks whined not wanting to clean up his father’s crazy escapades. He was never touching koolaid again, being embarrassed by his father was punishment enough. 

“Your life is a gift stark, I suggest you treasure it while I deem it worth letting you keep it” Vegeta hissed before dramatically walking deeper into his lab and taking a seat on his worn out couch. Tony rolled his eyes and turned to Trunks. 

“Is he always like this?”

“You should have seen him before he turned super sai-“

“That’s enough boy! Now Stark, I have a situation which I need your skills for” Vegeta drowned out his son as he continued to relay the events that had come to pass this morning. 

“Wow that is…who knew Koolaid was such a potent dye substance. Jarvis take note!” 

“Always a step ahead of you sir. I have ordered 5 lbs of strawberry for you to try on the suit” Jarvis beamed from the ceiling. Vegeta looked up in annoyance. Humans and their gadgets were so noisy. 

“My man Jarvis! So you want me to find a solution to get rid of her purple people eater look? Gotcha. Now scram, Steve is making me a sandwich and I don’t want to share” Tony shooed them towards…well wherever they came from. Vegeta remained unmoved. 

“No human, I need you to make it permanent. Or at least semi-permanent.” Vegeta demanded as he crossed his arms. 

“What?!?” Both Tony and Trunks shouted in unison. Steve entered the lab to find the pair staring in shock at a raven-haired gentleman wearing bright blue spandex. Tony had very interesting friends. 

“Well hello there, I didn’t know you had company. I would have made more cucumber sandwiches” Steve apologized. Tony quickly grabbed the plate from his hands possessively. 

“No! My sandwiches! You know I don’t like sharing you with others” Tony pouted before placing a quick kiss on Steve’s cheek. Steve smiled and returned the favor. 

“ I know you don’t share which is why I would have made them a separate plate of sandwiches. Its called being a good host” Steve chastised Tony who gripped the plate tighter. 

“But all of your sandwiches belong to me by default. Its in the marriage vows” Tony grinned as Steve rolled his eyes. 

“Whatever you say Tony. Well it was nice meeting you all! Be good Tony” Steve placed a quick kiss on Tony’s forehead before heading back to the elevator. Vegeta observed the scene with disinterest as Trunks mentally gagged in the corner over the lovey dovey adults. Adults were so gross, he never wanted to be one no matter what mirai trunks said. 

“Is that your mate wife,” Vegeta inquired as Tony continued to clutch the plate tightly. 

“Uh…Yea I guess you could say he is the wife in this arrangement “ Tony explained in between shoving sandwiches in his mouth. 

“Well I hope your wife bears you many heirs” Vegeta said suddenly serious. Tony choked on his sandwich and looked up in surprise. Trunks wanted to crawl under the nearest desk, this just couldn’t be happening. Trunks never knew what would come out of his dad’s mouth. 

“Well I suppose his body has been through worse so I’m sure he would bear children if he…well if it were possible” Tony shook his head at the turn of the conversation. 

“Dad why do you want to turn mom purple? Do you really want to die again?” Trunk pleaded with his Dad. Vegeta sniffed arrogantly. 

“Hah die by the hands of that woman? Don’t insult me boy. Besides purple is the color of royalty, and it is pleasing to me. You humans are so caught up on skin color, clearly ignorant of the universe” Vegeta stood abruptly and swept forward towards Stark. 

“I assume you will have the potion done in one weeks time. We will take our leave Stark” Vegeta stood next to his son and shot him a look. Trunk sighed and ducked his head. 

“All hail King Vegeta, second of his name, King of Planet Vegeta and Lord of All Saiyans Defender of the realm” Trunks relayed in monotone as embarrassment colored his cheeks. Before Tony could respond the pair disappeared in thin air. The young billionaire huffed in surprise and leaned back in his chair. What was his life even?

“I like him! Can we keep him?” spoke a voice from behind Tony’s chair causing him to promptly shoot straight into the air in fright. Tony whipped his head back to see the likes of Loki perched on his workbench with a Cheshire cat grin. 

“Loki! Can you make noise when you move? You scared the mess out of me!” Tony clutched his chest as glared at the smug god in front of him. 

“And where would the fun be in that? Your hearing must be decreasing in your old age Son of Stark” Loki teased as he grabbed for a sandwich. Tony immediately snatched the sandwiches out of reach. 

“That’s rich coming from someone whose first pet was little foot!” Tony barked back only to be met by a blank expression. Of course aliens and gods haven’t had the Disney childhood upbringing.

“Well no need for hysterics. If you need help with the purple potion I will happily give you my assistance” Loki winked as he slowly faded in front of Tony’s eyes. 

“Jarvis we have met our alien guest quota for the year! Make a public service Announcement!” 

“Of course Sir I would expect nothing less.” Tony laughed to himself and finished the last couple of sandwiches in peace.


End file.
